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Stone.17/3/2024 Did I tell you about my recent hospital runs? I am admitted at the moment with yet another mystery condition.
Three doctors seem to think the heights of pain I am in, which are currently suppressed by medication, are due to a 5mm kidney stone. Others disagree, and have convincing arguments: its position in the lower part of the kidney, which remained identical after 8 days; lack of blood in urine; all infection markers came back healthy. So, what could it be? Gastroenterology is the next specialty to get a say, hopefully tomorrow. Was it medical gaslighting when I was sent home from the emergency department being told nothing could be found, when this stone showed up on the scan? If you read it like that, you might think it was. My history with that kind of thing, could easily make me feel that way. There is other information to consider, though. For a start, this was an emergency department. They are there to take the urgency off the situation. That had been achieved with basic pain relief. The advice to keep taking that and see my GP if the problem remained, was correct, especially since their professional report to her detailed the findings that may be of influence as the picture became clearer. On a more personal level, the attitude with which the conversations were held made a difference too. I was asked whether the medication helped and to what degree. My levels of concern, and views on the need for admission were taken into consideration. It did come as a shock, but also a relief when my GP told me this stone had been found. That is fair to say. Would it really have made any difference medically had I been told immediately? At worst it could have meant I started to panic and cause upheaval in an already busy emergency department. Better to avoid that, I would say. As a clinical decision, I think it was a reasonable one to keep me in the dark. Similar things have happened since. My GP prescribed stronger painkillers, and advised to return to the hospital should they be too weak to get on top of it. After further investigations I was given the choice to return home to evacuate spontaneously, which could take a fortnight, or to stay and have the kidney stone removed. I was quick to go for the latter, though I had a lot more questions later, ready for when the urologist would come to see me. When he did, he considered another cause was more likely. He too gave me a choice. I could return home and be followed up from there, or he could keep me in over the weekend and transfer me to his gastroenterology colleagues tomorrow. He accepted that I had taken fright from the surges of pain shooting through me. He asked after other diagnoses, and understood how adrenal insufficiency could add to my fears. The emergency consultants, the radiologists, the urologists and my GP all had the opportunity to point the finger at me, to imply that I was exaggerating or inventing symptoms, to belittle my experience. All of them chose to treat me with respect and concern. Failing to acknowledge that would be making them pay for debts incurred by others in my past. I should do them justice as they do me, a therapeutic relationship works in two directions. Having said that, I am still nervous. That past does interfere, still, with the way I think and feel in these situations. What if my digestive system too appears to be entirely healthy and functioning well? What if that consultant does trigger the angst I was left with? What if all we end up with is a plan to continue to medicate against the pain until something changes? The helplessness could consume me if I let it. Being this ill makes that all the worse. There was mention of a potential gynaecological torsion in the initial report too. Only, since my tubes were taken out, I wonder how my body would manage that. Then again, it has come up with plenty of surprises before. Maybe this time it could conjure up some pleasant ones.
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